Arabian Grasshopper
by Kureeji
Summary: "My last conscious glance, was of an Arabian grasshopper floating in the air, complete with cape and turban..."
1. A$$ Bobbing

The sound of rushing water enveloped me as I stepped into the clearing. The foliage that blanketed the forest was thin here. Freshly moistened earth clung to my bare toes. I looked down, and was mildly surprised that the ground was a shade of crimson, dampened from my blood, and not from the river.   
I crept cautiously to the sharp rocks that lie embedded in the water's bed. A stream of blood from my shoulder trickled down my arm and into the cool water. I watched dazedly as it dissolved and was carried away in the current.  
I crouched and bent forward, barely balancing and painfully aware of the white bone that jutted out from my shoulder. I hissed from the pain, and annoyance that in Martial Arts I had always prided myself on my keen balance, and here I was half-conscience about to fall into a freaking stream.   
Pulling long strands of black hair out of my face, I tugged my blood soaked tank top off and wrapped it around my arm.   
"Great…" I thought bitterly. " Now I get to die with my boobs hanging out and my a$$ bobbing above the water."   
I leaned forward, trying to examine the wound. A wave of nausea attacked my brain, and I lost my footing. My head banged against the rocks, and a stream of crimson flew down my face, forcing me to shut my eyes.  
My last conscious glance, was of an Arabian grasshopper floating in the air, complete with cape and turban.   
  
  
Yes, I know short! Stay tuned!  
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k-chan  
  
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	2. Body Heat

I watched the human with mild interest. Hmphh. She had stumbled noisily through the forest, tripping on one and every freaking branch she could find. Come on now, that's irritating, especially if you are me and you can hear a worm fart from two miles away.   
I hovered a little closer to her as she crouched near the stream. I guess she didn't hear me, because she sat there and popped off her shirt. How stupid. I could have killed her by now if I was an enemy. I tried hard to remember that advice Gohan had given me if a woman took off her shirt in front of me, but I couldn't remember. Who cares any way? Gohan took off his shirt lots of times while we were sparring. I think the advice was run…or was that stop drop and roll? Damnn this crazy human philosophy…  
She wobbled a little, looking like Goku when he drank a little too much Kool-aid. I considered going over there, but why? I figured if she was freaked out now, a seven foot tall green Namekian wouldn't help the situation.   
Then, she fell, headfirst onto a rock. Now come on…She raised her head, and I swear she stared straight at me. She just looked dazed, again I call upon the example of Goku.   
I sighed. I think she passed out. I thought about my options. She was probably going to die if I left her here. I bent down and gathered her in my arms. I mean, why not? She was polluting my water anyway.   
That's was the first time I noticed the "extra" appendages on her chest. My eyes widened. Woah. I shifted her, and tried hard not to touch any bare skin…or…those….  
She stirred a little, and pulled toward the new source of heat…which happened to be me. I rolled my eyes. I hardly even let Gohan sleep on me. I was halfway to the cave before I realized I was enjoying the heat from her body…  
  
Yep, i got the new chapter out for yall, be happy! Please review! kureeji@yahoo.com   
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	3. Green Encounter

I set down carefully outside of the cave, not wanting to jostle my "passenger." I could feel her hot sticky blood as it soaked through my gi. I entered and laid her carefully on the pallet that I rarely slept on. Wait a sec, I don't sleep anyway…  
Fumbling, I took of my cape, and bent next to the bed. Stretching my hands around her wounds, I watched as the green hue worked it's power. This is what happens when you fuse with someone, I think Nail should get credit for me being able to heal. I wish I could strangle kami, though. Ever since I went back with him, I have had this strange urge to grow plants…And if you tell anyone, I swear I will hunt you down.  
She started to stir gently, as the last patch of skin re-sealed itself. I stopped and waited patiently. I hope she wouldn't scream like Chichi…Oh shoot! I forgot to get her a shirt…but it was too late….  
  
I opened my eyes slightly. "Uggh." Moaning I sat up in the bed----and almost freaked out. I don't have a bed, and even if I did, where am I now?  
I turned, and came face to face with this green guy. "Woah…" The guy blinked his eyes in surprise. I blinked mine too. "You can move?" I asked dumbly. He smacked me in the head. "Yep, sure can."   
"Oww!" I clutched my head a little. Am I dead? Dangit, I knew it, they sent me to HFIL.  
"Am I in hell?" I asked, staring the guy. If he wasn't a demon, then I don't know who was…  
"No, but you were pretty close to it. "The guy responded nonchalantly. "I saw you fall and I carried you here."   
It all came flashing back to me. The Arabian grasshopper… I grasped my shoulder, expecting the worst. The guy just kind of watched like I was dumb or something.   
"What?" I asked, frowning a little. I don't like people staring at me, much less green people staring at me.  
"Nothing…" he said sighing. "Wait here. Your shoulder isn't healed all the way." He hopped out of the cave, and flew off.   
"Hey!" I scrambled painfully to the entrance. I cocked my head in surprise when I got there. It was a little chilly. I looked down, and for the first time, noticed I wasn't wearing a shirt.  
I think my scream shook the heavens.  
  
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Heh, I tried to make it longer this time! 


	4. Names of the Freaky Kind

I flew hastily, desperate to put as much distance as I could in the little time that I had. I had barely gotten a mile away when the deafening scream shot through the air. I grimaced, and headed back.  
She was rummaging through the piles of abandoned gi's that littered a corner. She selected an old, battered purple one. I sighed. What a nosey kid.  
"Well? What do you expect me to do?" She asked mightily. She tied the red belt around her pants, that were at least 2 feet too long. I stared a little, lots of possibilities going through my head. We had never had a woman fighter, well except Chichi, and I am not touchin on that. She noticed me staring.  
"Is there something I can help you with?" She crossed her slender arms..  
"Yah, you are in my cave and you are stealing my clothes." He mirrored her arms.   
"So! I woke up, half dead, next to a green guy missing my shirt, what do you expect me to do? That is kind of questionable…"  
Piccolo sneered. "I wouldn't waste my time with you."   
"Yah, I am sure all the girls are just crawling over you, being tall, green and fangy." She smiled, as if she was happy with herself. She pranced around the cave a little. She struck a defensive stance. "I am Ninja!" She said, making all kinds of gay noises. I rolled my eyes. What actually surprised me was that her form was good, if not perfect.   
I watched as she threw a couple of fast punches and kicks.   
"Can you fight, or are you pretending?" I asked evilly.  
"Does it look like I am pretending?" She asked sneering.  
"Well, I don't know. I just found you head first in a river unconscious about to die of blood loss. Now if I were you and I could fight, why "pretend" that I couldn't and get my ass kicked?" He smirked a toothy smirk.  
"None of your business, grasshopper. You wouldn't understand." I noticed the intervals between punches sped up.  
"What is your name?" I asked  
"Oh." She said, kicking. "You are the kind of killer who likes to get familiar with their victims before you waste them." I couldn't help but smirk.   
"Fine, I will just call you "topless." Or maybe "feminine appendage." She blushed, but a tuft of stringy black hair quickly fell over it. I couldn't help but notice how her pale skin shone out so strikingly against her long dark hair.  
"I don't have a name." She replied stonily. I blinked. What in the HFIL did she do? Damn, I am a demon and even I have a name…Even though it's a retarded one.  
"Are you serious?" I asked.  
She didn't reply.   
"Fine, I will name you." I said royally. She turned back, a thin black eyebrow arched high on her forehead.  
"Your name is….Kuro." I said, watching. She stopped, "Hmmph, well, don't go and get too creative on me, grasshopper."   
"Fine." I replied. "Your name can be Hebi."   
"Ach! Kuro is just fine! Gosh!" She tugged the legs of the gi up a little. "Well, what is your name?" She asked me, as if she was expecting it the whole time.  
"Piccolo."   
"You are named, after a woodwind instrument? " She asked, looking as if she was about to bust into laughter. "Are you sure I shouldn't be naming you?"  
I snarled, getting fed up with all this girlish giggling and crap. You can only take so much before you want to go smack someone. She stopped abruptly, but kept on kicking and punching. After a while, I went to sleep. Or at least, a deep meditaion.  
  
  
Umm, there is an inside japanese joke in there, sorry for you Funi dubbies ^_^ Hebi is "snake" in japanese. "Kuro" is black. Get it?  
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	5. Reminders

I watched Grasshopper settle down into what seemed like a trance or something. I mean, he just kind of…sat there. Yes! I smirked evilly. Time to leave this place…wherever I might be.   
I took a last glance along the cave, and at "Piccolo." He had a nice looking face when he was relaxed and not snarling. In a green sort of way…I guess. I noticed that Grasshopper had taken off his hat thingy. Another evil smile passed over my features. Heh heh! I crept along carefully, and snatched up the thing…only to almost drop it because of it's weight. Good gawd! It weighted about 50 freakin pounds!   
I lugged it along to the entrance, and looked back to see if Grasshopper had noticed. Nope. Still sleeping. I was just about to go, when something pulled at my heart. I kind of felt bad leaving this guy after he had, you know, saved my life and all. I searched my pockets quickly, and then remembered my hair. I quickly untied the thick black material that bound my hair. I always wear black. It helps me with, er, my kind of life.  
I lay it carefully near Piccolo's feet. Usually I only leave my personal stuff…with my "associates." I don't know what came over me, but I left my favorite bandana with a grasshopper.  
  
I woke up, and quickly searched for the girl. She was gone. "Dammit." I muttered, looking around the place. My eyes came across something black on the floor. I reached over and picked it up carefully. Immediately the smell of vanilla washed over my acute alien senses. Drunkenly, I inhaled the smell. What did Yamcha say a while ago? Yeah, it was like a "high."   
I think I probably sat there for 30 minutes like an idiot with a black bandana pressed against my nose before I realized what I was doing. Hmph. I dropped the material quickly.   
I tried to meditate, but I couldn't. I tried to train, but I couldn't. Because every time I walked across a certain part of the cave, a crashing wave of vanilla would trap me, and I was in it's mercy.  
  
  
Yep, sorry it is short. Alot of times i kind of have "inbetweenie" chapters. The next will most likely be longer and more eventful. DONT QUESTION MY ABILITIES TO WRITE AND ORGANIZE MY STORIES!!! Please review! Any ideas, comments etc can be reviewed here or sent to kureeji@yahoo.com  
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	6. Arms

  
Hey guys! For those of you who have already read the first part of this chapter, skip down a couple paragraphs. There is a new part down there ^_^ Happy reading!  
  
  
**  
  
  
I could feel his rank breath on my neck as I struggled to wriggle out of his grasp. He slapped me roughly across my face. I reeled backward, feeling a thin stream of blood flowing from where his fingernail slashed my pale skin.  
"What now, bithc? You tried to take this, didn't you?" He held up a piece of meat, almost stale and gathering dirt from his grubby fingers. I hadn't eaten for a week now  
I growled, and gathered my bit of strength and threw my weight on him. He cursed. "Well, you tried to take something from me, so now I will take something from you!" he threw me roughly to the damp ground. My grey eyes widened as I grasped the full meaning of his words. I struggled blindly, determined this wasn't going to happen.  
He slammed his fist onto my collar bone. I could feel the bone crack and snap because of the pressure. I felt the mass tear through my skin in an agonizing slow motion. I screamed in pain. It hurt like all hell.  
He laughed and licked his lips. I looked at his empty eyes through oceans of cold tears. I grit my teeth, as he struggled to unzip his pants. I used my undamaged hand, and something happened. In all my rage, my hand started to glow an almost holy light. I could feel the power surge through my broken body and mind. It poured from my ravaged soul, and formed into this light, this weapon I didn't know I had.  
His face was uglier now than before. I threw the blindingly hot ball at him, and as his flesh started to burn, I pushed his fat body off of mine. The alleyway filled with the smell of burnt flesh. I didn't look back as I ran, totally drained into the night.   
The blood was pouring off my shoulder and numerous scratches on my body like a waterfall. I cried tears of anguish and hopelessness. After all that, I was sure I was going to die.  
  
***  
I awoke sweating, the horrible memories washing over my mind, consuming it like a mass fire. Ragged breaths heaved from out of my chest. I looked around quickly, still not sure if I was awake. I was alive…thanks to Grasshopper.  
I grit my teeth in anger. This should have never even came close to happening. I just wasn't strong enough to defend myself. I stumbled blindly across the grove, my home. My eyes weren't that well in the dark. Food…I need food. When was the last I had aten? I don't remember.   
The ground floated and swirled away from me as I walked…somewhere. Why was the freakin ground moving so much? I grasped my head, fighting a new wave of dizziness. Unconsciously, I found myself in front of a cave. I know this is Grasshopper's cave, somewhere in the depth of my mind, just I choose not to acknowledge it at my current state.   
It was so cold. The fillings in my teeth throbbed as I searched for warmth. I closed my eyes, and felt with my mind. I don't know how I can do this, I just know every time I need something with all my soul, a strange power takes over my body. I shiver at the memory of the rapist, I am not sure if it is because of the cold or the repulsiveness.  
My feet drag as my head slips into the clouds, I am not sure I can deal with the throbbing pain. I find my destination, and slump into warm, muscled arms. I seem to be doing that sort of thing a lot lately.  
  
  
  
I was sitting in the dark shadows of my cave, watching the pale glow of the night moon through the opening, and licking up the harsh blasts of bitterly cold air. I wasn't watching the moon because it was pretty (although kami kept on trying to say it was, from wherever he lies within me.) I was watching it because I was wondering. How in the bloody HFIL does that damnn thing keep coming back? I mean come on…  
I was ready to sit and dwell on it for a couple of hours, when the distinct sound of scratchy footsteps came into my range of hearing. Actually it kind of sounded like a semi truck, so I knew it was only one person, Kuro. Her. When I am not sitting and wondering about how mass planets happen to reappear after I blast them several times, I usually find myself thinking about her. About her bitchy mouth and how her little body moves in the most catlike dark ways- perhaps her namesake fits better than I thought.  
I watched her for a moment, trying to push down a small feeling of excitement that came with her coming here. Whatever. It is probably just because I live like Muten Roshi, alone. Oh yeah, I don't have gay little pigs running around to pleasure myself with. Almost forgot about that one.  
I noticed abruptly, her catlike stance was all wrong. She dragged her pale legs, and swayed a little. A feeling of dread washed over me. What in oolong's panties happened now?   
She seemed to seek me out, amidst the darkness, which was freakish because as she got closer, I noticed her eyes were closed. Think about a satanic-like Mr. Popo following you with his/her eyes closed. Mmmhmm, that is what I thought.  
She stopped, right in front of me, and slumped into my arms. Out of pure instinct, I managed to grab her carefully before she smacked the ground. What, are you waiting for me to put it nicely or something?   
I really hadn't examined her close up before. I could still feel the small but confident rise of her chest. Bony ribs. I took in her slight figure, the pale skin, and wondered why I hadn't put it together before. For whatever reason, she wasn't eating right. I also noticed the new gashes on her arms and legs, and the thin spider-like scratches from running through thorns.   
Food. She needed food. Goku. Wherever Goku is, food is there also. Mostly in mass quantities. I hopped off into the bitter cold, wrapping the cloak around the both of us. (You see, I have this cool ability of controlling the movement of my cape. Like, when it moves without wind. Kind of makes you wonder what I could do to YOUR clothes, huh?) I hope Goku can spare a chicken leg.  
  
  
MWA HA HA! Yeppers, next chapter right here. It is short, I know. Quit complaining. I will write more on spring break, but I will probably get more out before next week. Heh heh heh! bE NICE AND REVIEW, and i will see what I can do, ^_~ TA TA!  
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	7. Suprise!

I moaned, sitting up. "What in the heck?" I said aloud. I was in a tiny living room, lying on a couch. A guy with jacked up black hair sat sleeping, a chicken wing in his hand and drool coming out of his mouth. My eyebrows rose. "Okie dokie." I was about to leave ( I mean after all, I don't like staying at people's houses who drool constantly) when a lady, bustling with energy, came into the room.  
She looked at me, "Oh! You are awake, Kuro." I froze. Kuro. No one knew that name except grasshopper. I was immediately suspicious. "Where is Grasshopper?" I asked, unconsciously backing up against the wall. She looked at me strangly, and then busted out laughing.  
"Do you mean Piccolo?" She asked, stifling giggles.   
"Yeah. Grasshopper. Tall and green." I said hopefully. "Did he bring me here or something?"  
The woman sobered up. "Yes, you were very ill…You were so blue and cold. You should have seen the way he was holding you. I had to do a little convincing for him to let go after passed out. He just eats so much damned chicken…" She trailed off. She turned her attention to me fully." So, spill the beans already!" She pranced to sit on the couch.  
I looked at her puzzled. "What do you mean?"  
She punched me playfully. "You know! What up with you and the green guy?" She had an evil smile on her face. I could feel the heat rising to my cheeks.  
"Nothing." I replied, looking downward. For some reason, I just couldn't look at her in the eyes. Hmmm. Must be the side effects of my illness.   
"See! You are blushing!" She poked me laughing. "Come on! Just tell me!" She prodded more. I smiled at her crookedly, she wouldn't take no for an answer. Fine. Let me have a little fun with her.  
"You got me." I said fakely, sighing. This was fun. "I'm pregnant with his child." I said, biting the inside of my gums to keep from laughing. You should have seen her face.  
Her eyes were open about a mile, and an amazed look on her face. "Are you sure?" She asked me.  
"What do you mean?" I asked, equally confused. "Of course! I know when I am pregnant!" I was getting pretty convincing.   
"Ok, I just didn't know…Nameks could...you know…" She made a couple of hang gestures and stuff. I blushed more. This is so weird.  
"You can't tell anyone." I said stone-facedly. She looked at me just as serious, as if I'd told her a secret recipe or something. "Ok." But she got this dreamy look on her face. " Oh! I wonder what it'll look like! Baby clothes! Ah! And I can make it a cute little hat with holes for it's antennas! Ha ha ha!" She laughed genuinely happy. I was surprised by this woman's happy spirit, because she was so kind and caring. She had helped me when Piccolo just barged in with me in her house, and now she was planning my "pregnancy."  
"What is your name again?" I asked  
"Chichi." She replied smiling. "This is so exciting!" All of a sudden I felt bad for lying and misleading her. I was about to tell her when I heard the distinct swishing of a cape.  
" Is she fixed?" Piccolo's deep voice resonated in the circular room. Chichi nodded. I don't think she exactly liked him very much.   
"Please come back soon, Kuro dear! We have so much to plan!" She elbowed me "You are always welcome here!" She winked, as we shut the door.  
As soon as I took a look at Piccolo, I busted out laughing.   
"What is so funny?" He asked skeptically. His had his, er, eyebrow rose. It was so cute.  
"Nothing." I replied snorting, still laughing. I jumped into his arms before he could protest. "Take me home, ok?" He caught me swiftly, and as my face neared his I got a closer look at him. His eyes were so serious…but underneath lay a deep look of worry.  
I couldn't help but laugh, even though the situation was serious. When we were in the air, he asked again. "What is so funny?"   
I put my arms around his shoulders. He tensed a little, but relaxed. "Piccolo dear." I started, "I am bearing your brat." If I thought Chichi's reaction was big, you should have seen his. Again, it was so cute. I think his antennae was quivering. "What in the hell?" he asked quietly.  
"Not for real!" I said, concerned about him. He looked all confused, like he was gonna have a breakdown…but pleased somehow. " Chichi just thinks so." I laughed again, thinking about all the events today. We were near the cave.  
"Who says you live here anyway?" Piccolo asked, crossing his arms. His face was still a little…pink from the "news." He carried me to a corner and sat down.  
"Me." I replied, snuggling up to him. Why not? He was there, anyway. It surprised him, but he wrapped his arms around me, getting comfortably. I was weird how they fit in the exact right spots on my body.  
"Why?" He asked, I guess talking about why I thought I lived here.  
"Because." I told him, looking solemnly into the depths of his eyes. They were beautiful, right there so close. I can't believe I'm saying all this junk. "I keep you warm." I said softly. He just looked at me. The silence was getting thick. I had to do something.   
On instinct, I brought my lips up to his cheek, and planted a single kiss. He did not jerk away, but drew me in closer. I rested my cheek against his neck, feeling his warm pulse flow through. "Thank you for keeping me warm too. Piccolo." I said, a silent thank you for everything passing between us. He grunted a reply. I didn't realize I was actually doing any of this, until morning.  
  
  
I picked her up from Chichi's house, and we were going home. For some odd reason. She kept on laughing, with this smug look on her face. "What is so funny?" I asked for the second time. She just laughed some more. "Piccolo dear." She said, wrapping her arms around me. I tensed, but relaxed. Hey, not too bad. I was really surprised anyway, though. "I am bearing your brat." She said looking at me.  
I think my face turned yellow. "What in the hell?" I asked deeply. Let me tell you, right up until that moment, I had never really thought about women having children. I just know that after being profusely fat for nine months (which is so unpractical, how would you train?) A kid pops out. I really didn't know about how it all happened. I seriously hoped that I didn't do anything to make her, er, conceive. I don't know, like touching her elbow. What if that got her pregnant?!?!  
Seeing my confusion, she informed me, "Not for real! Chichi just thinks so!" She laughed again, unaware of my close to a heart attack. I sighed, and took her into the cave. I can tell you honestly, I almost dropped her while we were flying.  
"Who says you live here, anyways?" I asked. I took her to a corner and sat down. "Me." She replied, getting all close to me. Doesn't these humans do this a lot? I wrapped my arms around her, for some odd reason…enjoying it. I could feel her warm body against my frozen joints in the flight.  
"Why?" I asked, trying to break an uneasy silence. Was she embarrassed?  
"Because." She looked at me straight in the eyes. She said something I didn't expect. 'I keep you warm." She brought her face close to my cheek, and I did not move. I felt her lips brush against my cheek softy. I drew her in closer, and she rested her head on my neck. It was such a strange but...pleasing feeling, like I was supposed to be doing this exact thing. Somewhere along the lines, I said "Screw you" to that "resist! Resist!" voice in my head. Damn, it felt good.  
The mighty Piccolo, brought down by a dark kitten.  
  
  
~La Fin~  
  
Can you say "sequel?" Perhaps, maybe ^_~ I know this story was short, but i had no plot developed for it. I am ending it here, so i wont drag it out. Hope you enjoyed it, thanks for everyone's support.  
Kureeji  
  
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